


I'd Suffer Hell if You'd Tell Me

by orphan_account



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Feelings, Friends With Benefits, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-29 23:03:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21418129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: When Clayton opens the door, Matthew is leaning on the opposite wall. No collar -thank Christ- just jeans and a rumpled blue button up, his hair slightly askew. Matt smiles at him, open and sweet, and Clayton's heart beats out,I love you.
Relationships: Reverend Matthew Mason/Clayton Sharpe
Comments: 7
Kudos: 103





	I'd Suffer Hell if You'd Tell Me

When Clayton opens the door, Matthew is leaning on the opposite wall. No collar -thank Christ- just jeans and a rumpled blue button up, his hair slightly askew. Matt smiles at him, open and sweet, and Clayton's heart beats out, _I love you._

_ __ _

"Howdy, Cowboy." 

_ __ _

"You're drunk," Clayton replies with a roll of his eyes, but he widens the door to let Matthew pass. This was not the first time that a night out with Aly had brought Matthew to Clayton's front door. Matt makes a noncommittal noise in response to the accusation and saunters into Clayton's sparse living room. He slouches onto the couch and gestures grandly to the remains of Clayton's evening - a half empty bottle of rye and two equally empty glasses. 

_ __ _

"Perhaps it is YOU who are drunk, sir."

_ __ _

Clayton considers correcting the grammar, but sticks to the facts instead. "Bella just left. She had never seen Tombstone, can you believe that?"

_ __ _

Matthew chuckles and pours out two drinks. "I can. I can believe that." He hands one of the drinks up to Clayton, who settles a safe distance away on the couch. They clink glasses and Clayton raises an eyebrow at the hearty swig the other man takes. 

_ __ _

"Good night, Reverend?" 

_ __ _

"Ugh, please don't call me that." Matthew says with a grin, but he puts down his glass and sinks further into the couch. "I just -I don't know- I feel good tonight. Plus," He levels a wry grin at Clayton, "I'm allowed to drink, you know." 

_ __ _

Clayton knocks back his glass and then sinks down as well to make eye contact with Matthew. "So you just came here to drink?"

_ __ _

Matt's smile gets sharp around the edges, eyes blazing, "I came here for you, Sharpe."

_ __ _

Clayton knows it's coming, but the words still send a shudder up his spine. He leans in, just a little bit. "So you're allowed to drink," he says, sliding a hand across the back of the couch to hover next to Matt's cheekbone, "but what does the bible say about all of this sodomy business?" 

_ __ _

The question makes Matthew's eyebrows furrow for a moment before he collects himself. "Similar things to what it has to say about figs and polyblend clothing." The response gets a soft chuckle from Clayton, so Matthew presses on: "I'm not a servant of that book, Clayton. I'm a servant of God. I have to do what feels good and right in my heart, and the consequences of that will be between Him and me." 

_ __ _

Clayton lets out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "And this feels good?" He asks, skating his knuckles over Matthew's cheekbone. 

_ __ _

Matt's smile is soft and sure. "You know it does." 

_ __ _

Matt nuzzles into Clayton's hand and Clayton's entire being screams _I LOVE YOU._ But instead he just says "good," and closes the distance. __

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

The kiss starts out soft and sweet, but quickly builds to something messy and frantic, as if Matt is trying to get under his skin, fucking into his mouth with his hot tongue and warm breath. Clayton gasps when he feels a strong hand take hold of the back of his neck - _oh motherfuck that's good_\- as he starts unbuttoning Matthew's shirt. Then there are vast planes of muscles and dark hair under is hands, and Clayton wants to lick him, touch him everywhere he can reach, make this spectacular handsome giant beg for mercy. Matt shrugs the shirt off and pulls Clayton across the couch and into his lap. __

_ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _

As big hands press him into a warm chest, a heady chant starts inside Clayton's heart again:_I love you, I love you, I love you._ He tries to tell Matt without saying it, popping up on his knees to push both hands into the other man's hair and kiss the ever-loving shit out of him. Matthew whimpers beneath him and Clayton presses hard kisses across his jaw, down his throat, his chest, his stomach. He slides the coffee table back with his foot and settles on his knees in front of the couch, catching Matt's eyes as he reaches for his belt. __

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Okay, Matt?" 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"God, yes" is the wrecked reply. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Clayton smirks, and makes quick work of Matt's pants, sliding off his jeans and shoes and leaving the big man nearly naked on his couch. He takes a moment to drink in the sight, grazing his knuckles across the very evident clothed erection in front of him. Matt whimpers, and Clayton never really could make this man wait. He flicks his gaze up and, not breaking eye contact, pulls Matthew from his boxer briefs and into his mouth. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The reaction is instantaneous - Matt lets out a moan and his head tips back, hips canting forward to press further into the warmth of Clayton's mouth. Clayton welcomes it, sliding his tongue up the sensitive underside before swallowing him even further down into his throat. Matt's small sounds keep Clayton going, pulling more gasps and sighs from the man above him. He pulls back slightly and swirls his tongue around the head, only to feel a large hand at his jaw, pulling him back up. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"If you keep on like that, we're going to be done real quick," Matt says softly, tucking himself back into his underwear before pulling Clayton to his feet, whispering in his ear: "and I believe I was promised some sodomy." 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Clayton makes a face at the joke, but allows himself to be tugged towards his bedroom with a laugh and God, when was the last time he laughed this much?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He pulls his t-shirt over his head and tosses it somewhere in the hall, pulling Matthew into a kiss so he can feel their skin pressed together. They're still moving, until the back of Matt's knees hit the bed and he sits heavily, Clayton standing in between his legs. Matt's hands skim up Clayton's sides and then back down his chest, his gaze so reverent that Clayton wonders what he could have possibly done to deserve this. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_I love you, I love you___

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I love you."

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The room is totally still as Clayton's brain does a full record scratch. _Did he just say that out loud? He doesn't think so, he's been in war zones for Christ's sake, he not one to just blurt shit out. But then- ___

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

And that's when he notices the look on Matthew's face.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The other man is staring at the ceiling, mouth pulled into an embarrassed grimace, eyebrows knit together. He looks like he wants to disappear, and finally Clayton's brain catches up. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Oh. _Oh. ___

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"Matt?"

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Matthew huffs out a sound that's too self conscious to be a laugh and continues his thorough examination of the ceiling. "Um. Uh - is there any chance we could forget that happened and just continue having the sex we were about to have?"

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Clayton feels a strike of panic, "Is that what you want?" 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Matt seems to be searching for an answer from above, but doesn't find it. He fixes Clayton with a pleading look, and Clayton decides that it's his turn to be brave. "I don't want to forget it."

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Matt's eyes go wide. "But I - are you sure you-"

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I love you, Matt." Clayton says, finally. Out loud. On purpose. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Matt pulls himself up to his full height, so he towers slightly over Clayton, and presses their foreheads together. "Well, that is very good news." 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Clayton hums in agreement, pulling back to look into Matthew's eyes. When he meets them, the hunger is back, and Matt brings him into a sweeping kiss - a hand under his jaw and one wrapped tight around his waist. Clayton returns it with equal fervor, feeling Matt tug at the button on his pants and the band of his boxers. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

In the blink of an eye, he's naked and on the bed, watching as Matt peels off his briefs and climbs up the bed to settle on top of him. "I love you," he murmurs into Clayton's neck. "I love you," he whispers into his ear. "I love you," he smiles into Clayton's mouth, letting his hand skim over his lithe torso to wrap around his cock. It only takes a few strong, steady strokes to leave Clayton gasping, and Matthew returns his attention to the other man's throat as he blindly opens and rummages around in a bedside drawer. He comes up victorious with condoms and a small bottle of lube and levels Clayton with an adoring look. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Okay, Clay?"

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Even in the haze of sex and _fucking love,_ Clayton can't suppress his eyeroll. "You're an idiot."__

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Matt grins wide and shuffles down Clayton's body. "But you love me," he says, all mischief and wonder. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Yeah," Clayton all but whispers, "Yeah, I-"

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

And then Matt grazes a warm, slick finger over Clayton's entrance and his whole body stutters. "I love-," he tries again, but then Matt is pushing one finger inside of him, then two and _Jesus fucking Christ_, all words escape him. __

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Matt presses him open, eyes alight with each of Clayton's moans, wringing the sounds from him with dextrous fingers. When he's ready, Clayton gasps out a "please," and Matthew grins up at him, pulling his fingers free. Clayton whimpers at the loss, but let's out another small gasp when he feels a pillow being pushed under his hips and watches Matthew bite open a condom. Matt rolls it on and slicks himself up, settling on top of Clayton again, with Clayton's knees to his chest. Clayton is surrounded by Matthew, and he hissing at the feeling of Matt pressing inside him, slowly - not all the way yet. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Say it again," Matt growls into Clayton's mouth. "Tell me, please."

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_This man,_ Clayton thinks, _is going to kill me._ ___ ___

__

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

"I love you, Mattie," is what he says instead. 

__

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__

Matthew nearly sobs at the sweetness of the nickname, and his hips jerk forward, driving him deeper into Clayton. They both gasp as Matthew bottoms out, and Clayton uses the opportunity to pull Matt down into a filthy kiss, all tongues and teeth. Matthew picks up his pace, fingers gripping hard at Clayton's leg, hips pistoning powerfully. 

__

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__

Clayton is trembling with how _good_ it feels, lets out a cry when Matthew wraps a strong hand around his cock as they move together. He's close, he's so fucking close and then Matt nips his ear and murmurs "I'm yours," and Clayton's vision whites out. He lets out a shout, feels Matthew tipping over the same ledge as Clayton tightens around him. He pulls Matt's face to his and kisses him almost chastely, closed mouthed and sincere and just in love. They stay together until the discomfort becomes too much. Matthew slides out of Clayton and into the bathroom to clean up. He comes back with a damp washcloth and sorts Clayton out as well, who definitely means to help, but is currently feeling like a person with no bones. __

__

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__

When they're both clean, Matthew slips back into the bed next to Clayton, wraps strong arms around him. Clayton tangles their legs together. "Only you could turn a 1am booty call into heartfelt declarations of love" he says dryly, settling his head on Matthew's chest. 

__

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

Matt chuckles, "Is that a complaint?"

__

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

"Not at all," Clayton says into Matthew's sternum, "I just always thought we'd be old before we got to the 'missionary featuring heavy eye contact' stage."

__

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__

He expects another good natured laugh, but Matt goes quiet. Clayton angles his head to see Matthew staring at him with a strange expression. "What?"

__

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

"Nothing." Matt replies hastily. Clayton narrows his eyes, but Matt bundles him closer and says into his hair, "I love you, Clayton Sharpe."

__

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

Clayton sighs and settles in, "I love you too, you total fucking weirdo."

__

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__


End file.
